I am Kevin, a student studying in Singapore Institute of Technology pursuing Bachelor in Hospitality Business.
Previously I was studying in Singapore Polytechnic, Diploma in Hotel Management. Throughout my three years in polytechnic, I have gained knowledge about hotel industry, operation as well as partnership. Besides that, I have learned facilities modules such as maintenance in hotel operation and the basic structures of a hotel. I was tasked to Conrad Centennial Singapore for my internship. During internship, I took up two different F&B departments such as international buffet (Oscar's) and high tea (lobby lounge). In Oscar's, the pace of the operation is fast hence I have to be efficient to turn over the tables. However, in lobby lounge, the pace is slower, guests that usually dine in are looking for cozy and quiet environment. At times, I am pulled over to the banquet department due to lack of manpower at big function.
I would consider myself as extroverted and love to communicate with new people. I used to take up multiple camps in school hence, I have no issue with communication in regards to any topics. However, sometimes I would speak with a little Singlish in my sentences, thus, this is a weakness that I have yet to overcome.
In conclusion, I feel that communication is very crucial
in hospitality line as customer relation management is one of the key factors
that all hospitality industries are concerned. With positive attitude and
communication skills by all employees, it will certainly portray a good image
of the hotel and uphold the hotel quality standard.
Yours Sincerely,
Kevin Lim Shi Neng
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ReplyDeleteDear Kevin.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this mostly clear, concise and yet highly detailed letter. I can see from this that you have had many rich experiences to date in the hospitality setting. It's clear that this experience has influenced your communication skills and your sense of self. You certainly have a lot to share with us this term.
Since you see communications as crucial, you've come to the right place. In that regard, please see my comments below, specifically regarding your language use:
1. Overuse of caps
— …pursuing Bachelor in Hospitality Business.
>>> ?
see https://wmich.edu/writing/rules/capitalization
2. verb tense
-- Throughout my three years in polytechnic, I have gained knowledge... >>> ?
-- Besides that, I have learned facilities modules ... >>> ?
-- In Oscar's, the pace of the operation is fast hence I have to be efficient to turn over the tables. However, in lobby lounge, the pace is slower, guests that usually dine in are looking for cozy and quiet environment. At times, I am pulled over to the banquet department due to lack of manpower at big function.
>>> ?
3. Phrasing
-- During internship, >>> During the internship,
-- ...gained knowledge about hotel industry, operation as well as partnership.
>>>
gained knowledge about the hotel industry, in terms of operation as well as partnerships.
-- During internship, I took up two different F&B departments such as international buffet (Oscar's) and high tea (lobby lounge)....
>>>
During the internship, I worked in two different F&B departments: international buffet (Oscar's) and high tea (lobby lounge).
4. Sentence structure (run on sentences)
-- the pace of the operation is fast hence I have to be efficient to turn
>>>
...the pace of the operation was fast. Hence, I had to be efficient to turn...
-- ...However, in lobby lounge, the pace is slower, guests that usually dine in are looking for cozy and quiet environment.
>>>
?
-- YOU HAVE MANY CASE OF RUN ON SENTENCES IN THIS LETTER. I HAVE ONLY PULLED OUT THE ONES IN THE FIRST TWO PARAGRAPHS. YOU NEED TO IDENTIFY AND CORRECT THE MANY PROBLEMS IN THE LAST TWO PARAGRAPHS.
see https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/598/02/
-- With positive attitude and communication skills by all employees, it will certainly portray a good image of the hotel and uphold the hotel quality standard.
>>>
A positive attitude and effective communication skills by all employees will certainly portray a good image of the hotel and uphold the hotel quality standard.
I appreciate you sharing your experience and your views on communication. Let's work on this letter to make it more presentable.
Cheers,
Brad
Thank you Brad for your correction and response (:
ReplyDeleteDear Kevin,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog spot and through this post I got to know more about you. Indeed, you are an extremely friendly person. Communication is an important element in life and we shall continue improving on it.
Yours sincerely,
Szepei
Thank you SzePei for your comments!
Delete